Getting Knocked Up

We are finally moved into our new house. Moving is sure exhausting, but let me tell you, moving while pregnant is like being a one armed, one legged person simultaneously involved in a paper hanging and an ass kicking contest.  How’s about we don’t do that anymore, that moving thing? Okay? Sounds good to me! 

So I am 11 weeks and one day today, headed into my last week of my first trimester. I am feeling more and more like this is actually going to happen this time. Last Friday we had another appointment and the little ones heart was merrily beating away. I felt so relieved.  Statically, the odds of miscarrying have dropped but I am still uneasy.

Flashbacks of last year have been creeping their way into what should be my baby-bliss-filled dreams.  They seem so real; the panic, the blood, the sinking feeling deep in my soul. Luckily I always wake up and everything is well, but I am sure it isn’t healthy, especially with the amount of time I’ve had to dream given all the naps I take. I am pretty sure I just need to focus on the future and the positive things happening.

 I have been avoiding looking at baby stuff, but I think that might be having a negative impact on my subconscious. So I broke down today and search for nursery ideas, and oh my!! Just see for yourself…

Because really, who wants to hear all of this:

whine, moan, complain, sleep, whine, moan, puke, whine, pack, wallow, moan, sleep, complain, puke, sleep, fuss, whine, pack, sleep and repeat.

Yea, that sounds about right.

Friends! This pregnancy is kicking. my. butt.  I’ll admit it; I have not been a lot of fun lately. Anytime I think, just maybe, I have something clever, interesting, puke free or worthwhile to write about…whatever I think I had, I loose it, just like my breakfast.

See? I told you I shouldn’t be blogging right now. No one wants/needs to hear about this.

But because I love you all so much and you have made me so loved and comforted with all of your comments, I will muster up the strength to give you my best shot at a pregnancy update.

I am going to use bullet points…hope that’s okay for you. Complete and/or coherent sentences are eluding me right now.

• Today I am 8 weeks, 5 days along.
• If you wish to use the produce isle as reference, our baby is about the size of a raspberry
• This little cuddle-bug is due to arrive on October 5^th, 2011
• I got to hear the heart beat at my last dr. appt. (7weeks, 2days). Amazing.
• I am extremely nervous, but beyond excited

Gosh, I guess I am getting kind of bad at this. Another whole week without any post, goodness gracious! Maybe I am avoiding something. Actually it’s not a maybe, its pretty much true. But after some long, hard contemplation I realized that this Blog is as much for my readers, all 8 of you, as it is for me. The original intention was to record my life so I wouldn’t forget… because I am really good at forgetting. So I will withhold no longer, I want to remember this, regardless of how it turns out; it’s the story of my life.  It’s somewhat of an open book at this point.

So without further hesitation… well maybe just a little for the sake of suspense… and a little more for added dramatic effect……. I am pregnant, again. Pee sticks, blood tests and two ultrasounds told me so. Plus on Wednesday we saw the little peanut’s heart beating and man was it beating! I was dazzled by what a big heart this baby has already.  I am cautiously optimistic, as usual, but I have totally already fallen in love with this little ball of chub.  I can’t help it. So I am thinking positive thoughts, withstanding the urge to sign up for weekly pregnancy email alerts from Baby Center and avoiding the Baby section at Target because I don’t want to get too worked up or excited about this just yet.  We are only 6 weeks in and I learned a while ago to temper my celebration until the umbilicord is cut.  Heck, even then I’ll probably still turn blue from holding my breath. So that’s that. No excuse for blog abandonment, but I have been sooo tired and pukey lately.  Would it be weird if I blogged from the bathroom floor???

Why four? Because I haven’t posted in 15 days and I feel sort of bad,  and four is better than three right?

Number 1- We are selling our house. We love our house; it’s just in the wrong location for us.  The hubs and I work downtown, eat down town and spend a good amount of our time downtown. It just makes more sense to move near downtown, plus we’ll be closer to the mountains which is a huge plus. So, our house went on the market last Saturday and we’ve already had three showings. I am feeling pretty good about this…but I really would like an offer (see item number two).  Here are a few pictures of our house from the MLS,   feel free to pass long to anyone you know that might be looking to move to the northeast part of Colorado Springs.

Number 2- We are buying a new house. Yep, we are moving for sure. That is if our inspection goes well later today. We love this location and the view! It needs a little bit of work, but I think it has tons of character.

Number 3- I have another blog. Maybe you know about my Etsy Shop, well it has a fun little sister named Seven One Nine Design Blog. You should totally check it out, not that it’s better than this blog, I love them the same.

Number 4- Have you heard of Pinterest?! It is my new favorite thing of all time. You must go look there now. If you like it as much as I do, send me an email becasue I have a few invitations I can give out.  You can find my Pin Boards here. Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for pinterest addtictions or for loss of time on pinterest, thank you.

Have a happy weekend!

…if there was a contest for seeing the greatest number of pregnant women in a week.  On second thought, my OBGYN would probably win, but I’d be a close second. Seriously though, this is almost laughable. Everyone is pregnant. I mean just about everybody that can, is…wait… forget that, last year a man even got pregnant; everyone is pregnant! This might be a gross generalization, but it does seem like everywhere I look someone is pregnant. Friends, co-workers , the lady in font of me at Target’s checkout,  half the people on Facebook, everyone in my OBGYN’s waiting room, celebrities, teenagers and about two-thirds of my blogging friends, they’re all pregnant.

I am trying as hard as I can to continue being a functioning, even thriving, member of society. But the truth is I’m suspended in a Jell-O mold of jealousy. Sincerely and honestly, I am happy for them, SO happy and excited for them. I certainly don’t wish that they weren’t pregnant; it’s that I wish so badly that I was…or just had my babies here on earth with me.

Maybe this wouldn’t all seem so unfair if I had something tangible to blame — I can’t think of a worse label than “Idiopathic Recurrent Miscarriage.”  Oh what’s that, I didn’t tell you? So sorry. The results of my biopsy came back and everything is perfectly normal.  Its not bad news, but to me it isn’t great news either because I still have no answers, no solution.

Frankly, I just need to cuddle with these guys right now…

Blood work,  sonohystogram, internal exam and endometrial biopsy…what fun! Well, not really, but I sure do feel like a lab rat. All these test will hopefully help me get some answers. So far the blood work came back normal, the sonohystogram revealed that I have a perfectly normal uterus (which is a good thing because the Doc told me that is the expensive thing to fix) and I passed my annual exam with flying colors. The only thing that’s left is the biopsy, a pleasant (please note sarcasm here) scraping of the uterus to determine if my progesterone/ other hormones are in balance.

As these test pass, I am happy that I get to check some things off this list, but I also feel so frustrated that I don’t have any answers. All of this has left me feeling like I am taking a trigonometry exam, utterly confused.

Well, the biopsy is tomorrow, on my lunch break, so maybe I’ll have some explanations soon.

2011- Frank Chimero

As promised from here… Enjoy!