Getting Knocked Up

So I have talked about running here before, how it helps me clear my head, refocus and generally helps me feel better about myself, but I haven’t talked about racing.  Now, I do not consider myself an elite runner by any stretch of the imagination but I feel like I am drawn to it, like [...]

The other day, well, like most days, I was feeling exceptionally pissed. Legitimately, ridiculously, slightly irrationally pissed about life in general.  Mad that I am not pregnant, sad that I have babies in heaven and agitated that adulthood sometimes feels like an endless race. I decided that I needed to remove myself from my life [...]

I haven’t posted in a while because I don’t have much to say, nothing new at least.  Every time I think of posting it’s the same thing. I am sad, I am heartbroken, my Hcg levels still aren’t normal, there are no answers, but I am hopeful, sort of. I wish things were different. Sometimes [...]

No one and no thing could have prepared me for this. It’s not part of any of the pregnancy books or magazines I read. It’s the unspeakable; three miscarriages. I never imagined or even feared that this could be a possibility, that this could be my reality. The wind has been knocked out of me, [...]

I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been waiting for something good to write about, for something positive to happen. My writing feels so depressing and dark right now. I want so badly to be optimistic; I want to think nothing bad could ever happen again.  I want to be happy and naïve. I [...]

Just when I think things are getting better, they seem to get worse. When I start to see a light, my world becomes engulfed in darkness. It has been 3 weeks since we were told that our baby’s heart stopped beating and these three weeks have been the worst of my entire life.  I feel [...]

I haven’t posted to Tuesdays Unwrapped in quite sometime, well, because I haven’t felt like there have been very many “gifts” in my life to unwrap lately.  It has been 14 days exactly since I lost my baby. I feel like I have become cynical, lost and hopeless.  Driving to work this morning was especially [...]

In an effort to help my heart stop hurting and as a memorial to my two babies in heaven I started a memory box and scrapbook. It is difficult to do, but I feel like it is something I must do. I have started the first few pages and when I showed my husband he [...]