Pink roses and baby ears
I haven’t posted to Tuesdays Unwrapped in quite sometime, well, because I haven’t felt like there have been very many “gifts” in my life to unwrap lately. It has been 14 days exactly since I lost my baby. I feel like I have become cynical, lost and hopeless. Driving to work this morning was especially lonely; all I could think about was the image of my baby dead in the palm of my hand. I still am unsettled and unsure, upset and angry.
When I sat down at my desk this morning, I found my self staring silently at the little vase with 4 tiny pink roses that my boss had on my desk when I finally returned to work. These four little roses were a gift, but it also reminded me of the love and support I have from all those around me and that is even a greater gift. This morning I began to think of other things I could be grateful for.
Through all the darkness, the pain and the grief I know there is good. I may have been confused and beside myself that I had to see my unborn baby, at times I wished I hadn’t, but thinking back I am glad I did. As difficult as it was, I find comfort in knowing my baby had little ears and possibly heard me when I talked and knew that I loved it. Baby ears are miraculous. I am sure I will begin to sort through this murky haze and find more things to be grateful for, but today I am accepting and appreciating the precious gift of seeing my baby, having an image that I will hold in my heart and the reassurance that my love was heard, felt and known.
While I can’t imagine the depths of your grief, it’s wonderful to know you have a circle of friends around you, and a loving Father who understands our every emotion. May you find comfort in those things in the days ahead.
I am sorry about the loss of your baby. We lost one too, although much earlier on. My heart goes out to you and I am saying a prayer for you right now.
I know there are no words I can offer to bring you comfort. And I know I can’t imagine your grief at this time. I am so glad that you have been able to find things to be grateful for in your time of mourning, and I pray there will be many, many more of those to come.
There’s nothing I can say to take away the pain of what you’ve experienced, but I wanted to let you know that one pair of ears out here heard you, and grieves with you. God bless.
My heart goes out to you. I wish I could give you a hug! Thanks for the example of finding something good amidst something so difficult. Praying for you today.
Oh sweetie,
I am so sorry for your loss! I can’t even begin to imagine the depths of your grief but I know somehow you will get through this hurt and anger and begin to heal and live again by the grace of God. I know your baby is now watching over you and will always be in a special place in your heart!!
God Bless you and your husband!
Sincerely,
Melinda
I strive every day to find peace despite the loss of my son. Some days it is SO hard. I have so much to be grateful for and hold those things even closer to my heart. I have to believe our babies know and feel our love even beyond death. Thinking of you.